Jeers and cheers

After a night struggling with my computer, I have to reformat it. My god, my photos, videos and documents all gone. Fortunately I have a "backup" for my music which I stored part of my songs in my cellphone, but not all. Okay, I'm kinda easy-come-easy-go, so it didn't really upset me for too long as long as my computer still can be working. After this kinda sucky act, I've learned a lesson - back everything up for in-case before a "disaster" happens. This is scary. I have to redownload all the anti-virus, music player, MSN, Firefox which sucked up my whole night.

Now fine, throw the sad story away. It was such a fun night spending with friends singing KTV last night, having more fun singing English songs with Yoke Fong. Fun, fun, fun.

I can't wait for the arrival of November, all my fave singers like Xtina, Beyonce, David Archuleta, David Cook and Katharine McPhee have their new album out. I've listened to the lead single, Xtina's "Keeps Gettin' Better", Beyonce's "If I Were A Boy", David A.'s "Crush" and Kat's "I Will Be There With You". All are just great.

xoxo.

Keep on singing my song

"...Now in a world where innocence is quickly claimed,
it's so hard to stand your ground when you're so afraid,
no one reaches a hand for you to hold,
When you lost outside, look inside to your soul..."

This world is no longer the world I used to think, it's so insecure. This is a place where innocence is quickly claimed, the reality is so cruel and make me so afraid standing my ground not to run out of my faith. When I'm lost in this world and nobody gives me a hand, I'll turn to look inside my own soul, trust my own voice deep inside my heart, just like trusting my old friend, deciding what I feel alright.

Unlike the odd time I ever had, I was so skeptical to myself, I doubt myself whether I can sing, am I really understand the word singing? All these doubtful questions popped up because of the people out there criticizing or not giving any comment. I was being too serious on what they think about me, but never think of what I think about myself. I spent too much energy to look what people think about me, why don't save it for another effort?

After all these, so what? Who cares about that? I'm doing what my heart tells me to and never regret. I don't care what people might think about me, I just keep on singing my song, no matter what. As long as I'm alive, my voice inside never dies.

Trust the voice within

I believe everything will get done unexpectedly better than it supposed to if we really get onto something. Certain intention make a person has super power, you can run faster than you're able to when the stray is chasing you, the ill will soon recover if you keep telling yourself that you've got no time to be sick.

We have our very own extraordinary ability lies within that we might not know. So what you need to do when you're in helpless is just trusting the voice within your heart, kicking off all the craziness.

Inspired by song "The Voice Within".

xoxo.

Fragile

I must admit that I'm kinda fragile sometimes, can easily get hurt by words. I truly believe word is the greatest weapon of all time, perhaps I took them all too seriously, and I often need some time to fade them all away from me and starts questioning myself "Where's my faith?". And of course, I'm ceaselessly learning how to be a "so what?" or "what's the big deal?" attitude. It really counts in my life.

I often listen to inspiring song to relieve myself when I'm down. And I realize I'm always being too emphasis on the bad things surrounding me, highlighting all the negativity or criticism makes me couldn't see all the good around me.

So I'm now trying to love the negativity. Though every single negativity challenges my faith, but I'll get another lesson learned once I've overcome.

"No matter what we do, no matter we say,
we're the song inside the tune, full of beautiful mistakes.
And everywhere we go, the sun will always shine,
but tomorrow we might awake on the other side."


xoxo.

An impressive journey

I just came back from Mid Valley Carrefour to buy daily stuff. It's kinda thoughtful along the way. I saw 2 pairs of Japanese old couple in the bus were enjoying Mentos Fruit which I felt very impressive. "Who says old man cannot eat candy?" This kinda scene warms me, don't know why.

Not forgetting another funny thing, I directly paid RM1.50 to the Metrobus fare collector for the way from Mid Valley back to PJ Section 14. After paying,
"Mana pergi?", he asked me.
"PJ Seksyen 14", I answered. (I thought the bus fare rises again)
"Besok start 1 Ringgit", he thrown me this.
I said "o.." (I was still blurring)

I thought I wrong heard what he said to me or he wrong said 2 Ringgit become 1 Ringgit. Then it's okay... But I suddenly reminded my coursemate told me that price of fuel has already dropped to RM2.35 per litre, I now believe why he said that. It sounds kinda weird, I only heard of bus fare hiking, but not bus fare dropping. Sounds interesting and funny, too. Anyway, it's a good sign, hope price of everything's gonna drop and pay of salary is up.

Final day on fast.

Hooray..It's 11:50pm now, I'm kinda excited, 'cause my 3-day apple fast is gonna be over tomorrow. I'll start my breakfast with some crackers, not too heavy. I was like a dead body walking on street this morning, I wondered how could I still have energy to use up.

Very funny, perhaps it's because of starving for days, I thought of Indian Murukku just now. Uhm..Yummy..

Another excitement is actually I just renewed my Kaspersky Anti-Virus 2009 with an activation key until March 2010. Wow, it surprised me and this really eases my work, no more tiring to look for the activation keys for the next 2 years, temporarily ends my effort.

I gotta be putting more efforts to watch over the food I eat after today, less sugar, less oil, less processed food, more veges, more fruits, more water. I wonder if I could be a vegetarian. Haha, quite impossible, I still love KFC and McDonald's, but I don't mind to be a vegan for a few days or occasionally.

Erm..I suddenly remind a song by Carrie Underwood entitled "Don't Forget To Remember Me", says that, no matter how things turn out to be, I'm still the one who's never gonna change. Yup, I'm still holding my faith no matter what's gonna happen.


xoxo.

Day 2 on fast.

They are right, I'm now getting way more difficult to resist food. I can't even sit still besides crackers. I started off thinking of McDonald's fries, Secret Recipe's blueberry cheese cake, Domino's Pepperoni Pizza and much more. Whatever edible seems driving me crazy, my mind keeps appearing those food today.

But hang on, "I'm gonna be real healthy after the fast, toxin will get out from my body."

I started to hate apple, "apphobia" now. A new word from me, defines as a symptom of scared of apple. I ate 19 apples on last 2 days, 10 or more apples to go tomorrow.

Tomorrow is a new day for my short semester. I think I'll be having a short but blissful upcoming 7-week period. But I feel unhappy with the stupid schedule. I'm sure somebody's going to complain about this to the stupid officer and I hope the schedule will have some changes. Oh ya, I'll take Public Speaking on this semester, I'm damn happy to actually get a chance to speak up again, as I used to take same subject while I'm in foundation, can talk about my fave music, hopefully.

I'm sure I'll get myself a lovely smile tomorrow with my music, anyhow.


xoxo.

Day 1 on fast.

Oh..yeah..this is my first day of apple fasting. No cheating.

I went to Old Town Cafe to have a meeting this morning, I was like, "Damn! What should I order later?" I ended up the meeting with a glass of plain water. Good, what a great start by not having a cup of coffee or tea at coffee shop, which was insane. I don't know how other people might think about this, but for me, ordering plain water at coffee shop is crazy. Tasteless yet expensive. C'mon, 50 cents just for a glass of "sky juice". Plus, I knew somebody's going to treat me all. Haiz..Just forget it.

I was about to spend my whole day to draft out an outline for the coming Music Club vocal lessons with YaFu. Sounded great to work them out, I just can't wait.

9 apples, and plenty of water for today. That's what I take. I'll be doing the same thing for the next 2 days. Hope everything turns out to be fine.


xoxo.

A 3-day fast for myself

I'll be living without food but apple for this coming 3 days -- apple fasting. For my body's sake, I just knew that apple can help in detoxification. I don't know how much toxin I've been consumed these years as I'm always unavoidably, uncontrollably eating outside. Less sugar, less oil, less junk food as it's possible from now on. I know it's quite hard for me to do so, I'll try though, slowly.

The most excited thing is, I get managed to share this with my lovely mom, my mom's totally agree yet supporting me to have a 3-day apple fast, she wants to do the same, too. But too bad, she needs to cook for my family everyday, it's no way for my mom not to eat but just cook, every single food is gonna be kinda tempting when someone's fasting. Haha.. But I do hope my family can do this, it's very effective to eliminate toxin in body.


xoxo.

YouTube sharing 1

I know the feelings singing on the stage well, very emotional. 5 minutes to earn the applause, but how much have you spent behind the stage? Honestly, it's very very emotional, especially the mindset of impossibility of "finally dream comes true" has proved "it's possible".

Watch this, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AEjVKa2GLaE by Queen Emily. I cried non-stop for this, but I clearly know the reason. I'm pretty sure every stage-person knows why.

闷，这一堂

闷呆了！特别觉得这一次的假期毫无意义。
无聊+无奈=现在的我。
庆幸是短短的3星期，要不然我可能会患忧郁症，而且是带有丧尸活动那一种。
人就是如此，总爱身在灰色地带，不要太极端，也不能太恶劣。

打个比喻，
感觉热的时候，就很想吹吹冷气；感觉冷了，倒想出外取取暖。
上课的时候爱假期；假期的时候爱上课。
现成的或是自动送上门的不要；自寻的，即使再难也要追求。
成天外出，家人说你不顾家；成天在家，家人说你闷。
... ...

有太多太多的对比了！
说得刺耳些，人就是犯贱。

谁不向往永远身在灰色地带？不过因周遭影响，压力的循环，灰色似乎是个遥无可及的颜色，对于平平无奇的人，有人说是安分，也有人说是所谓“暗淡无光”的范例。总比黑色地带恶劣的好，不过再想深一层，永远戚戚无名的当小卒，谁甘心？无形的压力就此来了。

哈！想远了。明明就出自于简单的单字--“显”。不过闷归闷，灰色还是我较向往的颜色，按部就班。我想是过于安分，不然现在也不会喊闷。

看看闷字怎么写就知道，把心锁在门下。所谓的“心房”，哈哈！

“Better in time”里的歌词说得正合我意，"It'll all get better in time..." 会随着时间的流逝而变得更好。正比喻着我漫长的假期。

大家加油打击郁闷这病魔！

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Love really matters when thing's getting bigger

I truly believe everything that we think is now the biggest matter in your life will be seemed small after all. I know surrounding things have blinded us to see all the good, always highlight the bad things within, that's when the bad swallows your vision held in your mind. Like every time I feel so shame of doing something, or too coward to get myself better at that time, now I think it twice. What's really a big deal after all?

The time I struggled for assignments?
Bad relationships with my brother?
Quarreling like never before with best friend last year?
Joining a sensational feel-good event last semester?
or even my biggest shame on things I really matter,
Singing crack on last new year in my dad's house?

How would it be if I did these all without running out of my faith? It's not really a matter for me as time goes by, as long as I'm still holding my faith.

I know it's hard to keep going on a rainy day, sounds wrong to feel nothing after losing beloved ones, quite crazy not to cry after a breaking up. I know everything huge or insane in life needs a world of shutting out and just be left alone.

Think! Think twice or even thrice! What's really matter in your life after all? Where are the people loving you?

"When you figure out love is all that matters after all, it sure makes everything else seem so small."

That's why I keep reminding my family and friends that I love them.


*Inspired by song "So Small" by Carrie Underwood.
xoxo