终于...累了

我们之间存在着太多的差别。
你太好了，
你的成就令我很自卑。
于是我试着赶上，
我试着去追求你所追求的一切。
当然我也希望借着这一点可以对自己严谨一些，
你开始成为了原动力，
我一直的追，
开始发现自己有了盲性的追求。

我刷牙要像你；
读书的方式要像你；
说话的语气要像你；
喜欢颜色的品味要像你；
听音乐的习惯要像你；
甚至是你对这世界一切的观点也要像你。

不对劲了，
我开始会想念你的一切，
我开始发现这不是普通的追求，
我开始发现自己...

不过我知道，
我再怎么追也只能追。
终有一天追累了，
伤痕累累，
驿站坐着，
就会发现在这喧嚣的城市里终究是充满着许多的不可能。

不过现在还是盲目的赶上着，
虽然是等着受伤，
不过却很期待。
很傻~
等着这一天追累了就会回望嘲笑自己多么的愚蠢无知。
等着终于的终于...

我很好

这个学期开始，我特别喜欢步行去上课，因为可以真的看到许多的人生。有的推着车子上菜市，有的准备晨跑，有的拉着犬儿散步，也有的跟我一样步行往学校去。从我家到学校大概需要走个半小时，一个人走的话,MP3就是我的好朋友了。那种感觉很奇妙，好像在看MTV的感觉，身边的一切不断的移动着，耳机里的歌不断的播放着。我就是喜欢这样真实的MTV，没有NG的人生虽然听起来很可怕，不过事实就是永远那么的真实。没有重新来过的事实，只有重新起跑的人生。


前天我看见一只小狗一直跟着主人自行车的尾儿。更凸现了早晨“重新起跑”的气息。

我从来都不奢求什么，只希望自己现在和未来走的路会是当初自己所坚持的。恳求10年后，20年后或更久的将来都是那一位永远不会变质和忘本的自己。

不过我还是会向往有回报的一切。比方说，人与人之间的关系如果可以像塑胶弹球一样那该多好，用多少的力气把弹球往地上打，就有多少的力气回弹。


这样的人生最安全的了。

A very musical intro of me

Profile
Name: Lim Kok Joo a.k.a KJ a.k.a Tiff
Age: 19 turning to 20 very soon
Likes: Music, Vocal Playing
Hates: Pretenders

Genre music that I prefer: Vocal, Pop, R&B, Country, Soft Rock, A capella, Gospel, Classics

Genre music that I hate: Heavy rock, Disco/Techno

Fave vocalists: (C) Rene Liu Ruo Ying (E) Christina Aguilera, Leona Lewis, Delta Goodrem,
Carrie Underwood, Katharine McPhee, David Cook etc.

My greatest moment: Having performance in front of 2000++ audiences

My ultimate dream: Write my own song, People can get connected from my singing, ignore every single negativity and keep on singing my song.

My all-time-favorite single: "The Voice Within" by Christina Aguilera, "Beautiful" by Christina Aguilera, "Innocent Eyes" by Delta Goodrem, "幸福的路" by Rene Liu, "So Small" by Carrie Underwood, "Home" by Katharine McPhee, "Anyway" by Martina McBride.

Songs that I currently listen to: Leona Lewis's "Whatever it takes", "The Best You Never Had", "Better In Time", "Misses Glass"; Alicia Keys's "Fallin'"; Mariah Carey's "Bye Bye" and Tori Amos's "Silent All These Years".

Songs that odd me all time: "A Moment Like This" by Kelly Clarkson; "Hurt" by Christina Aguilera; "So Small" by Carrie Underwood; "Homeless" by Leona Lewis; "I Will Always Love You" by Whitney Houston

Personal Vocal Range: 3 and a half octaves; F2-C6; Chest Register: F2-B4; Head Register: C5-C6

狗狗与我

今天在吃晚饭的途中看见一对狗鸳鸯在路边做爱做的东西。这肯定不会是我第一次看，因为我们家以前也有养一对狗狗的，简直是司空见惯，不过这一次的很劲爆！我还是第一次看狗狗原来也会口交耶，我看了简直是喊了出来，接着就是笑声，哈~

我以前的狗狗一只叫石头，另一只叫牙齿，哈哈！开玩笑啦，一只叫Rocky,而另一只叫Gigi。Rocky养了10年，1997年12月29日带来我们家的，2007年中就老死。Gigi大概是养了4年，2006年就失踪了，这只笨狗是不会认路回家的，我是罪魁祸首，是我把它弄丢的。现在想起真的很心酸，换是我被丢失了，我一定会很伤心，会自问是不是主人不要我了？

突然间很想念它们，不知它们现在在天国过得好吗？

.....

Footprints in the sand

Currently I'm really crazy with Leona Lewis's "Footprints in the sand". That's such a meaningful song to everybody. The song is tribute to the helpless childs who have lost somebody. It gives me goosebumps and really wanna cry every time watching its MV, it's so sad.

I'd wanna promise the childs that I'm always be there for them whenever needed that reminds me last visit at orphanage house last week. It's painful deep into my heart by looking at those helpless childs. They're so innocent, they shouldn't have this kinda physical pain as they deserved to live better and happily. Stays strong, babes! Everything will be alright.

Here are the music video footages.

You guys should have listen to this song. This song meant a lot to me, and this is somehow the music should sound. You'll love it, too.

Third day and last day

Day 3

Our third stop of MV shooting is in the chapel and the 4-million show house in Subang Jaya. The chapel actually looks like a church for wedding. We got to the chapel around 11:05am and the sky was still raining, what a good weather for sleeping! Graphic design students were also followed with us for photo shooting. Everything was going really well until the lighting burned the tissue papers. We were completely blank for at least 3 seconds at the time we looked at the flame, we ran to it after we really feel conscious, that's really funny when I think this back.

After wedding shooting, we went to Sunway Pyramid to buy some equipments and of course to eat lunch.

After this, the time we had waited for so long was finally come, we got to the show house by 4:30pm, what our mouth really spoke was just kept saying "wah!" and "wah!". But what really impressed me were actually the lift and the garage, that's damn unbelieveable! I never imagine a house can have a lift, that's too... Haizz, just forget it.

8:30pm is the time I got home. Felt fantastic for everything.

Welcome to Sarah & Kenny's Wedding.

A 4-million house in Subang Jaya.

I never thought of a house could have a lift.

Out-view of the balcony. Damn nice!

Day 4 (Last day of MV shooting)

Before our last stop in Jaya One, we got to Orphanage House again to shoot a missed-out shot, we met the orphans and the disabled childs again, I did cry today as I looked at the helpless syndrome down kids lying on the floor, struggling like he wants to go with me. I held his hand tightly, I can feel he's really getting sufferred. It really hurts, I mean my heart. I feel I'm the greatest and happiest human in the world, afterall.

Last stop for our MV shooting was in Palm Square, Jaya One. We shoot in front of the Overseas Restaurant and the fountains, just felt great. All the extras (K-leh-feh) were amazing, shout a zillion thanks for their coming. You guys meant a lot to the MV.

KFC besides MC was where we go for dinner by around 10pm.

I got home by 11:00pm.

Behind the scene.

Informing the extras what to do.

xoxo.

17 July.

Second day

After a day of getting familiar with the DV, we became really great in managing and handling the situation. Everything went really fun and great in the second stop, orphanage house in Taman Megah. I love the children, they're innocent, they're happy all the time even they're being abandoned or suffering from syndrome down. This makes me feel really wrong and sorry when there's something not really going smooth in my life, our troubles seem nothing if compared to what they've really faced. We as normal human beings really have to feel contented for what we have and what we see every second in our lives, be easily contented, be a happy-body, always.

Many thanks to Ng Kah How, his mom, Mei Mei and for our very responsible security, "Henry". We wouldn't be so well without you guys.

I'm gonna miss those children, too. Love 'em so much! You've made me understand what's really count in my life.

"Bye-Bye" by Mariah Carey is the right song for them and me. Leave all our sadness behind, welcome home, happiness!


Setting up all the equipments in the orphanage & disabled chilldren house.


One of our characters in the MV, his name is Ng Kah How.


Me and the children in the orphanage house.


xoxo.

15 July.

First day

It's a good day for me today, a good beginning for our MV shooting assignment, everything went well this afternoon, feel touching, feel grateful for everything. Our very first stop was Lovely Old Folks Home in PJ SS3, our talent was such a nice old lady, she's the one my group leader, Cerenna and I felt she's the lady that is the most appropriate selection out of the rest in the old folks home, 'cause we have impressed by her glorious smile at first sight, feel very warmed. I still remember she had turned us down for sitting on the wheel chair at first visit, but she has let this go this afternoon, that was quite surprising me. Her name is Aunty Alice, I'm gonna miss her for sure.

Here, "Through The Rain" by Mariah Carey is the song I'd love to dedicate to the old folks. Be every human that can make it through the rain, be strong enough to mend whenever falling, hold tighter to your own faith whenever you feel afraid. Love ya'll.

Going to the first stop from PG block.

Checking and setting up all the equipments.

It's time to say "bye bye". Thanks, Aunty Alice.

xoxo.

14 July.

一个人？

我做任何事情都喜欢一个人，
一个人逛商场，
一个人在家，
一个人唱KTV，
甚至是一个人说话...
或许更贴切的说法应该是自己习惯成性了。
习惯了一个人的生活，
习惯了一个人走着自己的路。

喜欢不时就哼起歌来，
喜欢突然很起劲的唱起歌来，
喜欢瞬间就可以跳起舞来。
即使唱得多烂，
或唱得多感伤，
跳得多难看，
或跳得似模似样，
都不会有人批评自己，
也不会有人赞叹自己。
这样的生活有多好，
以平常心去面对一切，
少了傲慢，
少了哀伤。

我特别喜欢一个人在家，
没有约束，
没有形象可言，
没有话语保留，
可以很自在的伸个大懒腰，
带着老旧的眼镜，
随着凌乱的头发，
在家中裹住。
好自在，
好真实。

我特别喜欢一个人逛商场，
没有矛盾，
没有犹豫，
更不会有争吵。
可以随性的走进自己喜欢的地方，
买自己喜欢的而不需要多于解释的小东西。
即使只呆个半小时也不会有人抗议。
在商场中尽情的奔驰，
好自在，
好真实。

我特别喜欢一个人上KTV，
没有压力，
没有批评，
也不会有掌声。
可以任意的唱着自己之前不敢唱的歌，
可以点别人不晓得唱的歌，
可以给嗓子歇息尽情的唱走板。
即使含泪唱着，
也不会有人笑我懦弱，
不会有人给予慰问。
好自在，
好真实。

我唯一不喜欢一个人的时候，
就是当自己有成就，
憧憬无限的时候。
因为心里面想不出任何一个名字来...
可以分享喜悦的名字。


好可悲，
却真实...

嗓子，歇下吧！

这几个月发声带都出现问题，怀疑自己在上几个月过度使用自己的嗓子，加上声带没有好好真正的休息过，所以造成喉肌衰竭。没唱两首歌就觉得很累，还有类似肿瘤的东西在发声带之间，已经有好几个月了，都还没空上诊所查诊。声音在这几个星期有撕裂的感觉，开始有一点担心，怕会造成永久性损坏。

下个月会有一场创作比赛，需要演唱。所以趁现在距离还有一个月的时间，我看是时候要实践嗓子冬眠治疗了（Voice Sleep Therapy)。避免高分贝交谈和尽量少交谈，谢绝唱歌，更不用说上KTV，封嗓为期一个月。

记得我最后一次封嗓是2002年的事了，当时是因为到新加坡旅行两星期，完全没有唱歌的机会。那时两星期后再唱回歌是完全控制不了自己的声音，频频走板，那时我真的是完全接受不了，后来再多唱两天，发现原来喉肌跟我们身体其他部位的肌肉一样，经过休息后的喉肌会松懈下来，需要被“开启”。一旦被“开启”后就可以得心应手。我封嗓两星期后的音质变得更“干净”，也更响亮，因为有了充分的歇息。

其实早在一年前就有想过要放自己的声音一个长假，不过不论是表演、比赛、唱KTV或是在浴室尽情地唱着，都无法脱离声音的引用，而且要我三天不唱歌已经会是很难的事了，更甭说是一个月。所以希望自己在这未来的一个月会真的有毅力封嗓。因为这一切都是为了自己的嗓子的将来着想。

明天又有期中会考，希望一切加油！

10:33pm; 08 July 2008

Today's my mom's 48th and youngest brother's 16th birthday.

I'm here wishing them have a Happy Birthday, love both of them so much! Muacks...

考疯了

哈哈~ 应该不止两下，那我哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈~

今天我真的快疯了！竟然会“善用”这个学期所学的Photoshop来恶整别人的照片，上Friendster抓朋友的照片来“胡搞”，真的太有趣了！一阵滑鼠的“咔嚓”声随后就是一阵狂笑声。连我自己都不敢相信这是我的所作所为。很好，又是一个发泄的好方法。像Communication Theory 所谓的Catharsis Theory，利用媒体来当作发泄的作用。啊哈~ 我想考试可以用这一个当例子，感同身受嘛！甭背得半条人命。

快考试了嘛！你也来找个方法发泄发泄吧！一来就是会疯掉，要不然玩了更疯。哈~

Singing sharing:The way I like music

Everybody around me knows I love music, that is why I love singing. For me, I truly believe music and singing are arts, 'cause there are no particular ways for 'em, we can make music and enjoy anyway we'd love to, sing our own style and play with our own skills. I hate rules, that's the reason I love music and singing a lot.

I don't mean to be cocky here, but I must admit that I know a lot about singing, I love to listen to people singing, I could only stick to one song for a whole day, play it over and over again just to listen to the skills that the singer has used in the song, and then its lyrics and emotions. Tell you what, I'm kinda dumb in the sense of music, I bought a music album, I might not kinda in love with a song at first heard, but I might tell you recently I love an old song after 2 years that's actually one of the collection in the CD. It's worthy for me buying a music album as I can stick to it for up to 2 years. Like Rene Liu's 2004 album "听说"(over heard...), I'm still stick to some of the songs in it and never ever feel sick whenever listening to it for over 4 years. Time has paid everything I possess, I spend at least 5 hours a day for song listening.

Some singers, I mean those who sing, not supposedly a whole-packaged artist, spend their whole life to hit some big notes in order to impress listeners. I personally don't think this is a great thing to do in singing, singing is the way we enjoy and interpret ourselves. I love hitting those big notes is because the consideration of singing skills but not to only impressing someone. But very funny to say that high note is the factor excites me, always. What I think is we must first to catch your tune, soul and emotions(foundation of the art of singing) up before working on these high notes, c'mon, at least. That's an equation that I always keep in my mind:

Vocal(voice) + Techniques(skills) + Emotions(feelings) = A good singer/song.

I believe everyone's stepping forward to another perception level of music or singing. A good eureka really needs a lotta time. Let's improving together.